hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
