so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
