Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
