First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
