i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
