On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
