sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
