Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
