and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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