haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
