Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
