how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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