"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
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