I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
