hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
