I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize