I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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