I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
