I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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