And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
