How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
