I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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