she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
