I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
