Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
