Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
