i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize