Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
