You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
