Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
