I must be too annoying 4 u.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
