i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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