Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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