I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize