Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
