Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
the raccoons are back...
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