I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
