He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
