i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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