you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I've blown a few things in my day
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
