Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
