he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
