tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
