matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
