I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
