You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
