If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
