I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
