he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
