There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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