So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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