oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
