Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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