Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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