I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize