oh god the rape fog is back!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
