i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
