he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
