I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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