when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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