My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think my vagina is haunted
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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