I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
