The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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