Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
