My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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