How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
